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Monthly Archives: May 2012

I’VE SEEN YOU BEFORE

A questionable question: There is a cute boy at work who flirts with me…what is the proper etiquette for asking him if he is married or has a girlfriend? LISTEN: What are you going to do if he does?  Wait – don’t tell me.  Etiquette is one part memorization and one part plausible deniability. Speaking […]

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JOCASTA

An Oedipenpal asks: When is it polite to shut your mother down when she is talking non-stop the way her mother does and the way you eventually will?  Should you allow her to ramble on, or nip it at the beginning of the conversation cycle? LISTEN: The easy answer?  Never. The practical answer?  As soon as possible. […]

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WELL, HELLO THERE

A question of proper introductions: What is the best way to charm a one night stand into becoming an often night stand? LISTEN: Like any new habit, it’s best to start first thing in the morning.  Once you’ve nuzzled a hungover mammal awake, extend your right hand and politely introduce yourself.  When you have the […]

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BLAME CANDIDA

A question of timing: So when my yeast infection flares up during social events, I’m uncertain of how long it’s appropriate to scratch the related areas.  Please help. LISTEN: Seriously?  You really need to quit.  You and your yeast infection need to scamper on off to a private area where you can enjoy each other’s company.  Scratching […]

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LITTLE BIRD

A question of life or death: My little dog keeps killing birds.  What should I tell her? LISTEN: You need to quit.

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