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I’VE SEEN YOU BEFORE

A questionable question:

There is a cute boy at work who flirts with me…what is the proper etiquette for asking him if he is married or has a girlfriend?

LISTEN:

What are you going to do if he does?  Wait – don’t tell me.  Etiquette is one part memorization and one part plausible deniability.

Speaking to a coworker is always proper.  It’s what you say that can sometimes get you into the most delightful trouble.  Since introductions by a third party needn’t be made (or rather, have intrinsically been made by your employer), what remains is to make his further acquaintance in the most insipid way possible.  In this instance, all you have to do is contrive to wear a tight sweater and end up in the copy room at the same time.  Your share of the dialogue goes like this:

“Well, hello there, how are you?  How long have you lived in this fair city?  Just you, or do you have any children, pets, or wives?  …Oh, I see.”

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