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Monthly Archives: July 2012

BUTTER? STEAK SAUCE? CIGARETTES?

A concerned host notes: A few weeks ago at a dinner party, one of my friends got very sick.  He kept getting up to go to the bathroom and was audibly vomiting and… worse.  I really didn’t know what to do, and he wasn’t in a condition to leave for a while.  I asked everyone […]

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PUT A LID ON IT

A put upon questioner asks: One of my friends almost never shuts up.  If you ask a general question, she’s always the first to answer, loudly and longly.  If you tell a story, she interrupts and tells one of her own.  This happens no matter where we are or what we are doing.  What can […]

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FAST AND EASY

A somewhat misdirected question: What do you think about microwaves?  I went to a dinner party and you could hear the *ding* of the microwave as the hosts were preparing the food.  It’s disgusting. LISTEN: What do I think about microwaves?  Not much, really – I don’t have the occasion to use them much as I’m […]

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YOU READ MY MIND

A sensitive question: I’m an artist, and I hate it when people ask me about paint colors for their house or placement of their furniture and decorative junk.  “You’re an artist, where should I put my collection of wicker baskets?”  What am I supposed to say?  My paintings are intuitive and dark, the imagery is […]

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THAT WAS NO LADY

A mistakenly identified reader: Today I took a rather expensive present, a watch, in for an adjustment.  The woman who helped me sold it to my husband the day before and was expecting me.  “You have a very nice brother!” she said, complimenting my gift.  I’m a man, and so is he…and he’s not my […]

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IT’S NOT ABOUT THE HUNTING

The scene: A modestly priced restaurant in any restaurant in any city of  this great country.  A man is telling a joke to a group of friends. GUY: “…so the hunter is just furious, right, and he goes out and gets the biggest gun he can afford.  He gets a bazooka or something.  He spends […]

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