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A thwarted, generous soul inquires:

A few of us go to lunch every Friday, and we stay for a while.  We have wine and talk and linger…anyway, at the end of the lunch, one of our friends always grabs the bill!  What can I do to politely tell him to let it go?  That it’s my turn?


I wish I had your problems.

Look, if you want to pay for the lunch, regardless of the cost, then have your credit card ready like you were calling a sex line and just hand it over when you place the order.

That’ll probably just work once.

Have you considered why he’s picking up the check?  Is he trying to guilt you?  Is he showing off?  Is he repaying you for your own hospitality, but in public?

If it’s the first two, he’s a jerk, so you should let him.  No one tells you how to feel but you, and if he’s just dying to throw money around – let ’em.

If it’s the last, just say thank you.

Then order dessert.


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