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SERVIEEEEWWWW…

An understated and understood undoing:

I can not believe I am writing this.  I went to dinner at the home of a new aquaintance (sic) who is a rather eccentric artist.  The food was good but wierdly (sic) prepared.  Things like sweet potatoes stuffed with poached fish and salad made out of raw beets.  Anyway, the most aweful (sic) thing was that it was served on plastic lunchtrays, and the silverware was wrapped in underwear.  He said it didn’t fit anymore, and that it was completely laundered, and that’s what he uses as napkins now.  I was so freaked out and disgusted but everyone else just rhought (sic) it was funny and laughed it off.  I ate, but I didn’t use the “napkins”.

LISTEN:

The most awful thing, I think, is your spelling.  Normally I edit these things, but for some reason I didn’t want to this time.

OK.  They’re probably typos.  I get it.  But please, people, use spellcheck and learn the difference between its/it’s, your/you’re and there/their/they’re.  And it’s weird, not wierd – okay?

Fine.  On to your question.  Oh wait, there isn’t one.

On to your story.

Ew.

Is it proper?  No.

Is it rude?  Well…you see, it isn’t as if he rolled your silverware (I hope it was real silver, at the very least) in his recently worn pants or anything like that.  There’s not much difference once something has been laundered properly.  If he was trying to be shocking, it obviously worked – but you said his friends laughed at it, right?  That means that they are used to such shenanigans and obviously use it as a filtration system to separate out the killjoys, like yourself.

That’s the rude part.  Whoever invited you should have said something like “Now, Mr. So-and-so is very strange, perhaps he tries too hard, but be prepared for anything.  I mean anything.”  But to drag you through that like an auto-da-fé was hardly polite, and maybe unkind.

Poking at the bourgeoisie is a favorite pastime of the intellectually pretentious and the easily amused.  Those are generally overlapping magisteria (my apologies, SJG), so I shouldn’t be surprised to see more hi-jinks from this particular set of acquaintances.  

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your being shocked by the site of your silver wrapped in skivvies, but on the other hand, I wouldn’t allow him the pleasure of your being astonished.  Just present a tight-lipped smile and put your undies on your lap.  You can surreptitiously drop them onto the floor if you like.

Then eat very carefully.  If at all.

If you get invited back, ask if you can bring someone.

You shouldn’t be having all the fun.

 

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