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ALL SHE WANTS IS

A foul observance:

I have a friend who smells bad.  Recently, it’s gotten worse.  It isn’t just body odor, though there’s some of that, not much – but their clothes smell like they’re mildewed.  How do you deal with someone’s problem like this?

LISTEN:

Take them on a shopping spree?  First to buy new clothes and second to buy new deodorant.

Is your friend a hippie, by any chance?  I understand they are quite keen on being unclean, and prefer the intoxicating fragrance of their own body to those dreamed up by the scientists in the employ of Mr. Klein and Mr. Lauren.

Provide them with sample packets of a new detergent, and just rave on and on about how it’s changed your life.  Tell them you were so anxious because you were worried your clothes might smell of mildew even after being washed – a product of flinging them off as soon as you came in from your sweaty exertions.  Really prosthelytize – just sing the praises of your delicious new soap.  Maybe got one of those ecological ones, or ones without added perfume or whatever they call it.  “Scent.”  Ughh..

Actually – just be honest.  You’ll have to be at their house to do it, because they’re going to want to change.  Tell them that you think there may be something wrong with their washer (which could very well be the case) because their clothes smell “off”.  Provided we’re not talking to someone that – shy of deodorant – isn’t generally unclean, right?  Because if we are, you’re going to have to love them for what’s inside.

I hope it doesn’t smell as bad as the rest of them. 

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