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Advice for the undead:

I have recently taken a very stressful, very time consuming job where I have to commute to a different city at least 3 days a week.  I never can seem to get enough sleep, and I have to be rested to focus on work.  The problem is that my fiancé is always scheduling dinners, house guests, activities and trips when I’m actually home.  I just want to rest.  How can I convey this to him without hurting his feelings?


How should I know – aren’t you the one affianced to him?  Do you think there’s some sort of graph with work demands on one axis and social demands on another called “How to talk to my specific fiancé”?

Because there isn’t.  If a straightforward conversation about while how delighted and lucky you are to be with such a gem of a human being who is always trying to create amusing distractions from your hard work life, you need some downtime – maybe just the two of you cuddled up silently reading books on market share or personality disorders – whatever it is that floats you boat – isn’t possible, then you’re in for a looooong marriage, buddy.

More simply – how about saying, “Look, I’m exhausted – you go ahead and tell me all about it afterward.”

I’d also suggest dropping them off and picking them up.

Or at the very least providing cab fare.


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