Skip to content

Monthly Archives: November 2012

ALL IS FULL OF LOVE

Or full of shit. When you encounter someone – say, at a cocktail party – who says that their only motivation is to help others, you should excuse yourself immediately and go help yourself.  To another drink. Otherwise you are in for a wonderful night of passive-aggressive accusations that you, yourself, are not open to love, […]

Share

XERXES IN BLUE JEANS

An economically disadvantaged discussion: I have a friend who recently came into a great deal of money.  It wasn’t the lottery, but years of hard work that paid off dramatically.  Now he can afford much nicer things, and I find myself insecure about returning any kind of hospitality.  He’s never said anything one way or […]

Share

FORENSIC ETIQUETTE

Excavating the ruins of a friendship or a relationship is always tricky.  The classic line of He said / She said morphed somehow into Sex, Lies and Videotape – one imagines it was the advent of videotape, as sexing and lying have been quite popular for some time – and now you can’t get away […]

Share

WHAT CAN YOU SAY

A jilted lover’s friend of a friend complains: My very good friend slept with another good friend, a couple of times, and now their little fling is over.  Fine and good – but now she runs him down when he texts her and I just don’t want to hear it.  He’s still a friend of […]

Share

I ASK FOR NOTHING

A selfless soul searcher suggests: With the Christmas holidays right around the corner, I was wondering if you have any advice on how to tell people that you just don’t want any presents.  I have plenty of stuff, if I see anything I want I just buy it right away, but I don’t have all […]

Share

HERPY THERNKSGERVERNG!

YNTQ is on holiday, and will see you after the weekend.

Share

NUDE RULES

A most welcoming hostess asks: What’s the etiquette for a three-way? LISTEN: Oh, you kids and your new technology.  The most important thing is to let both parties know they’re on the call…hold on a minute – – OK, I’m back.  You meant a ménage à trois, didn’t you?  Conveniently, it isn’t all that much different from a […]

Share

SHUT. THE. BARN. DOOR.

A slightly flustered employee asks: I was sitting at my desk at work when a female colleague came to ask me a series of questions.  Without any untoward interest, I noticed her fly was down, as her waist was at eye-level.  I didn’t say anything, for fear of appearing like a pervert.  If it was […]

Share

GAGGING FOR IT

A choked-up person requests: What do you do when you’re talking to someone about something emotional and they start crying?  What about if it’s you that starts crying?  What do you say? LISTEN: I never cry.  If I did, I would have my own handkerchief handy. If you started in, and the aforementioned handkerchief was […]

Share

NIKE PAS CHER

YNTQ is hungover today.  Here is an obviously auto-generated spam comment, presented as avant garde poetry. — Nike Pas Cher Happiness is mostly                  a parfum   it is impossible   dans le but de entirely on some                     […]

Share