Skip to content

GOOD EVENING, SIR

A dilemma:

I was dog-sitting for some friends and they live on a second floor overlooking a busy street.  It is very fun to watch the street and foot traffic, but then this happened: A man in a white truck pulled up in front of an apartment next door, then he looked around and suddenly started masturbating!  I could see the whole thing.  I have to admit I watched, not for a thrill, but to see if he noticed so maybe he’d not come around anymore.  Was that rude?

LISTEN:

You watched a man suddenly surreptitiously masturbate in a public street, and you’re wondering if you’re rude?

You sweet thing, you.

No, it wasn’t rude, but it was dangerous.  You should have jotted down his license plate number, the make and model of his truck (noting that it was white was a good start, but woefully banal and of little use when searching out your little chicken-choker), and called the police.  You can then sit down at the window and watch both a racy piece of street theater and an action film.

I suppose having a stack of slender flyers saying “I CAN SEE YOU JACKIN’ IT!!” handy would be too much to expect, but can you imagine his face when he gets a happy ending and his own ticker tape parade!?

Come to that, if you could see his face, you might want to snap a photo.  Depending on how efficient the police are to responding to such urgent, pressing calls like yours, I’ll let you decide whether or not to use a flash.

He seems firmly on the side of over-exposure.

Be careful out there!

Share

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *
*
*