Skip to content

Monthly Archives: January 2013

NO

How you don’t know this already… : What do you say when a friend on facebook or something asks you to comment on something like the school shootings or gun control? LISTEN: No. Specifically: No, thank you. That’s it.  Say no more, say nothing else, leave it alone and go on watching your cat videos.

Share

POOR KITTY

A vexatious version of events: What can you say to shut someone down when they ask you really personal or inappropriate questions?  My brother-in-law routinely asks me and my husband how much money we make (we’ve never answered), and my sister asks WHEN am I going to have children or WHY don’t I have them […]

Share

WHAT??

An unheard plea: My husband has a habit of walking away from me or suddenly starting to talk to me from a different room.  I can’t hear him!  So I say “What?” all the time and he gets frustrated.  He said he’s tired of me always saying What or I’m sorry or whatever…he never seems […]

Share

MOVE, BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY

This is the theme song for the person: Who wants to turn left.  From a residential street.  Into two-way traffic.  During rush hour.  MAKE THE BLOCK, JESUS CHRIST… Who pushes their cart in front of you, then turns their back to scan the opposite side of the aisle in the store. Who starts into a […]

Share

TAG, YOU’RE IT

A dissenting opinion: I think people should just wear name tags at parties.  That way you don’t have to remember people’s names and you can learn them slowly as you talk to them.  You could wear name tags at meetings, too.  Don’t you think that’s a good idea that would solve the problem? LISTEN: Nope. […]

Share

NOMEN OBLITUM

A question from the absent minded: Is it that bad to forget someone’s name?  I’m terrible with names, and sometimes people get really mad at me.  What can I do to make people feel better? LISTEN: You could start by remembering their names.  That should do it. Second, you could stop telling yourself you’re terrible […]

Share

CAKE OR CANDLES?

Substance or Style?  Existence or Experience? There is room for both in our big old world, and lots of leeway should be provided for the varying definitions we’ll find of the word style, or at least its incarnations as experience.  But it’s a false choice. Think about it this way: You’ve gone on vacation with your family […]

Share

COMPUTER (INTERRUPTED)

The robots that write to me are really reaching out.  It seems in this instance I’ve stumbled across the end of a really intense conversation. They’re plotting to kill us, people. “…but he or a substitute will say the same thing when this piece of habitual cowardice has killed enough women and children. But it’s […]

Share