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Concern over equations brings this:

I’ve never heard about that “age equation” for how much to spend on a bottle of wine.  Where did you hear it?  Is it written down?  You can’t just make up rules.


Can’t I?  I don’t see anyone else running around trying to claim the mantle of etiquette, so I don’t see why not.  That, and you’ll find out that rules in general are just made up.  That’s how rules work.

You wake up screaming in the bloody morning, crawl out of your cave and club something over the head to eat.  You’re chowing down, when a bigger troglodyte comes up, cracks you on the noggin and drags away your breakfast.  Or drags you away for breakfast.  Either way, a few other neighbors notice this, sort out it doesn’t seem quite fair, and alllll the little guys gather around the big guy and beat him to death.

The first rule has been made.

Now we sort out and settle our differences in all manner of ways, many not unsurprisingly like our hairy-knuckled predecessors, and at some point along the way someone writes it down (as I did just yesterday).  At that point, everyone (more or less – see the antagonist of our parable for a dissenting opinion) agrees to abide by it for the time being and there you go.  You have a rule.

So the Rule of wine for casual acquaintances and the Rule of wine for special occasions with your bestest friends may be slightly different from our brand new all-purpose rule of How much to spend on wine in general, it won’t be far off.  Then take into account the sub-clause on How much you can afford and Am I going to be drinking this paint tonight? and you’ve got yourself a pretty well rounded Rule of thumb…which has it’s own colorful (and probably inaccurate) history.

But don’t let that stop you from running around making rules telling the people making the rules that they can’t make the rules.  It’s no end of fun.

I’ll bring the wine!


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