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Category Archives: Friendship

COME AGAIN?

A mispronunciation boondoggle: What do you say when someone mispronounces a word – or worse – corrects your pronunciation of a word incorrectly!?  I brought out the dictionary, but I think I might have hurt my friend’s feelings a little. LISTEN: When you say they corrected you incorrectly, did they slap the shit out of […]

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XERXES IN BLUE JEANS

An economically disadvantaged discussion: I have a friend who recently came into a great deal of money.  It wasn’t the lottery, but years of hard work that paid off dramatically.  Now he can afford much nicer things, and I find myself insecure about returning any kind of hospitality.  He’s never said anything one way or […]

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FORENSIC ETIQUETTE

Excavating the ruins of a friendship or a relationship is always tricky.  The classic line of He said / She said morphed somehow into Sex, Lies and Videotape – one imagines it was the advent of videotape, as sexing and lying have been quite popular for some time – and now you can’t get away […]

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WHAT CAN YOU SAY

A jilted lover’s friend of a friend complains: My very good friend slept with another good friend, a couple of times, and now their little fling is over.  Fine and good – but now she runs him down when he texts her and I just don’t want to hear it.  He’s still a friend of […]

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NUDE RULES

A most welcoming hostess asks: What’s the etiquette for a three-way? LISTEN: Oh, you kids and your new technology.  The most important thing is to let both parties know they’re on the call…hold on a minute – – OK, I’m back.  You meant a ménage à trois, didn’t you?  Conveniently, it isn’t all that much different from a […]

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GAGGING FOR IT

A choked-up person requests: What do you do when you’re talking to someone about something emotional and they start crying?  What about if it’s you that starts crying?  What do you say? LISTEN: I never cry.  If I did, I would have my own handkerchief handy. If you started in, and the aforementioned handkerchief was […]

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IN VINO VERITAS

A complication with your complication: I have a friend who is an an open relationship.  Recently, the two of them have started sleeping with a third person who is married and cheating on his spouse.  I don’t know this new person and I don’t want to.  I am absolutely disgusted by this behavior.  I don’t […]

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V O T I N G N I T O V

A concerned commentary: I thought this stupid blog was supposed to be about etiquette.  What’s with the voting crap? LISTEN: The real issue, my dearest friend, is that ultimately it is my blog, so if I wander around a bit, tough tits. But since you mentioned it, let me just say this: I don’t care who […]

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IT’S LOVELY

A question that does not need to be asked: What do you say when someone paints their house a color you can’t stand? LISTEN: Did they ask your opinion?  No?  Then you don’t say anything. They did?  Uh-oh. Then lie, and tell them it’s lovely.  Quickly add that it’s not a color you’d choose, but […]

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BROKEN RECORD

A complaint: I’m having a fight with a friend – she said something pretty mean-spirited to me when we were hanging out, and now she’s saying she said no such thing.  Then she said she had said something sarcastic, not the same thing I remember, and we both laughed about it.  I know I didn’t […]

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