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Category Archives: Inconveniences

NO LIGHT NO LIGHT

Blindingly obvious, really: My neighbors are selling their house, and real estate agents letting people in turn on all the lights.  They’ve left one on now for days – on the outside.  It’s a floodlight that points directly into my backyard and into my window at night.  What can I do? LISTEN: Don’t you have […]

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PUPPY LOATHE

A nerve-wracked reader reports: We recently got some new neighbors – a gay couple and their dog.  The first thing we noticed before they even moved in is that they fixed up the house.  Great!  The second (and third, and fourth) thing we noticed is that they have a little dog who isn’t yappy necessarily, […]

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LIKE A ROCK

Back-aching, a guest writes: I recently stayed with a friend (of a friend) who had a sleeper sofa.  It was a new, very expensive thing from a designer store, and he was obviously quite proud of it…but it was horribly uncomfortable.  That morning, he asked me how I slept, and I’m afraid I was honest […]

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MERCI

A harried host’s harangue: My husband’s two close friends are coming into town for 4 days during our “staycation”.  That’s all well and good, but that means I get 2 days of rest and 4 days of hosting work while waiting on them hand and foot and keeping the house clean.  They’re nice people, but […]

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WHAT??

An unheard plea: My husband has a habit of walking away from me or suddenly starting to talk to me from a different room.  I can’t hear him!  So I say “What?” all the time and he gets frustrated.  He said he’s tired of me always saying What or I’m sorry or whatever…he never seems […]

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MOVE, BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY

This is the theme song for the person: Who wants to turn left.  From a residential street.  Into two-way traffic.  During rush hour.  MAKE THE BLOCK, JESUS CHRIST… Who pushes their cart in front of you, then turns their back to scan the opposite side of the aisle in the store. Who starts into a […]

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TAG, YOU’RE IT

A dissenting opinion: I think people should just wear name tags at parties.  That way you don’t have to remember people’s names and you can learn them slowly as you talk to them.  You could wear name tags at meetings, too.  Don’t you think that’s a good idea that would solve the problem? LISTEN: Nope. […]

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ANTS ON A LOG

Conversation interruptus: I was at a bar with a friend who I get to see maybe once a month.  We like to hang out for a couple of hours after work, catch up, talk about our day, ideas, etc., and have a few whiskeys.  In the middle of the conversation, this other guy came up, […]

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GAGGING FOR IT

A choked-up person requests: What do you do when you’re talking to someone about something emotional and they start crying?  What about if it’s you that starts crying?  What do you say? LISTEN: I never cry.  If I did, I would have my own handkerchief handy. If you started in, and the aforementioned handkerchief was […]

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THE SHORTEST HORROR STORY

The Shortest Horror Story: The last man on Earth sat alone in a room.  There was a knock on the door. — Frederic Brown LISTEN: It was probably just a Jehovah’s Witness.  And they’re not that scary.  They’re quite friendly, in fact – and more than happy to go away and knock on someone else’s […]

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