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Category Archives: Intellectual Pursuits

DIP IT IN THE HONEY

I used to live next door to an old lady who would give me jars full of jam and come over to my house to instruct me on what chores I needed to do for her that weekend.  Usually something like – untangling her wind-chimes, or getting a heavy blender out of her cabinet.  Nothing […]

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SEZ WHO?

Concern over equations brings this: I’ve never heard about that “age equation” for how much to spend on a bottle of wine.  Where did you hear it?  Is it written down?  You can’t just make up rules. LISTEN: Can’t I?  I don’t see anyone else running around trying to claim the mantle of etiquette, so […]

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COME AGAIN?

A mispronunciation boondoggle: What do you say when someone mispronounces a word – or worse – corrects your pronunciation of a word incorrectly!?  I brought out the dictionary, but I think I might have hurt my friend’s feelings a little. LISTEN: When you say they corrected you incorrectly, did they slap the shit out of […]

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ALL IS FULL OF LOVE

Or full of shit. When you encounter someone – say, at a cocktail party – who says that their only motivation is to help others, you should excuse yourself immediately and go help yourself.  To another drink. Otherwise you are in for a wonderful night of passive-aggressive accusations that you, yourself, are not open to love, […]

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NIKE PAS CHER

YNTQ is hungover today.  Here is an obviously auto-generated spam comment, presented as avant garde poetry. — Nike Pas Cher Happiness is mostly                  a parfum   it is impossible   dans le but de entirely on some                     […]

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OH MAN, YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART

An incensed reader complains: For an etiquette blog you’re (sic) advice is kind of rude.  I guess those who can’t do teach. LISTEN: First of all, you’ve misplaced your comma.  You’ve accidentally turned it upside down and used it an apostrophe. Second, you have an extra e there.  Let’s see if I can find a use […]

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THE SHORTEST HORROR STORY

The Shortest Horror Story: The last man on Earth sat alone in a room.  There was a knock on the door. — Frederic Brown LISTEN: It was probably just a Jehovah’s Witness.  And they’re not that scary.  They’re quite friendly, in fact – and more than happy to go away and knock on someone else’s […]

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V O T I N G N I T O V

A concerned commentary: I thought this stupid blog was supposed to be about etiquette.  What’s with the voting crap? LISTEN: The real issue, my dearest friend, is that ultimately it is my blog, so if I wander around a bit, tough tits. But since you mentioned it, let me just say this: I don’t care who […]

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BUBBLE HEADED

An insulated introspection: With the election coming up, I have found it very handy to see what people post on facebook.  Now I know who to delete!  If I see someone supporting insert the opponent’s name of the guy you support here, I know that getting rid of them is the best thing to do for my […]

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RAVE ON

An unfriendly friend freaks out: I have a friend on facebook – and a friendly acquaintance in real life – who is in the same line of work that I am in, though in a completely different school of thought (in our field).  He frequently, almost exclusively – posts condescending remarks about my segment of […]

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