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Category Archives: Poor, Poor You

NO LIGHT NO LIGHT

Blindingly obvious, really: My neighbors are selling their house, and real estate agents letting people in turn on all the lights.  They’ve left one on now for days – on the outside.  It’s a floodlight that points directly into my backyard and into my window at night.  What can I do? LISTEN: Don’t you have […]

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κάτι τρέχει στα γύφτικα

κάτι τρέχει στα γύφτικα! Say it after me – Katatraya stayeftika!- meaning – “There is trouble in the Gypsy village!” It also means “Who gives a shit?” or “Who cares?” I think that’s a wonderful launching point for this glorious mid-week. Put your life into context every once in a while.  When presented with an issue, a […]

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PUPPY LOATHE

A nerve-wracked reader reports: We recently got some new neighbors – a gay couple and their dog.  The first thing we noticed before they even moved in is that they fixed up the house.  Great!  The second (and third, and fourth) thing we noticed is that they have a little dog who isn’t yappy necessarily, […]

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WHAT??

An unheard plea: My husband has a habit of walking away from me or suddenly starting to talk to me from a different room.  I can’t hear him!  So I say “What?” all the time and he gets frustrated.  He said he’s tired of me always saying What or I’m sorry or whatever…he never seems […]

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XERXES IN BLUE JEANS

An economically disadvantaged discussion: I have a friend who recently came into a great deal of money.  It wasn’t the lottery, but years of hard work that paid off dramatically.  Now he can afford much nicer things, and I find myself insecure about returning any kind of hospitality.  He’s never said anything one way or […]

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OH MAN, YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART

An incensed reader complains: For an etiquette blog you’re (sic) advice is kind of rude.  I guess those who can’t do teach. LISTEN: First of all, you’ve misplaced your comma.  You’ve accidentally turned it upside down and used it an apostrophe. Second, you have an extra e there.  Let’s see if I can find a use […]

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REPUJIT

Nasty. My dog eats poop she finds on the ground when we’re walking.  Today she almost knocked down an old lady wearing a colostomy bag.  What can you say? LISTEN: Rendered speechless?  I’m not surprised. To the old lady, you say “I’m so sorry.”  You may decide to keep your little coprophage on a shorter […]

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THE SHORTEST HORROR STORY

The Shortest Horror Story: The last man on Earth sat alone in a room.  There was a knock on the door. — Frederic Brown LISTEN: It was probably just a Jehovah’s Witness.  And they’re not that scary.  They’re quite friendly, in fact – and more than happy to go away and knock on someone else’s […]

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WHAT CAN YOU SAY WHEN A LOVE AFFAIR IS OVER(RATED)?

An incensed inquiry: I have a friend – I wish it was just one – who takes hyperbole to an extreme.  If he goes out to a four-course meal, it was “epic”, if he likes a car, it’s “epic”, if there is a band he likes coming to town, they, and all their music, is […]

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MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT ________________

An irritation with the process revealed: I was at a fundraiser last night and there was a silent auction.  I bid on a painting, was outbid, and bid again.  Then someone signed the guaranteed purchase line – at this point the auction is supposed to be over.  Well, someone else came up and wrote down […]

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