Skip to content

Category Archives: Revolting Things

N’EAR EASTER

Sad bunny says: Every Easter I have brunch with my family, and at some point people try to shove deviled eggs in my face.  I hate eggs.  I.  Hate.  Eggs.  And every time it’s the same thing, people pushing me to try a new recipe or whatever.  “No, thank you” doesn’t work – they almost […]

Share

TAG, YOU’RE IT

A dissenting opinion: I think people should just wear name tags at parties.  That way you don’t have to remember people’s names and you can learn them slowly as you talk to them.  You could wear name tags at meetings, too.  Don’t you think that’s a good idea that would solve the problem? LISTEN: Nope. […]

Share

LYING FOR A LIVING

Pride thusly wounded, a question: My husband travels for work.  He’s gone every week, and it’s hard enough being lonely, but now I’m being tortured by my friends.  I have had 3 different friends in the past week ask me if I trust him while he’s gone.  Don’t they realize how hurtful their question is? […]

Share

ALL IS FULL OF LOVE

Or full of shit. When you encounter someone – say, at a cocktail party – who says that their only motivation is to help others, you should excuse yourself immediately and go help yourself.  To another drink. Otherwise you are in for a wonderful night of passive-aggressive accusations that you, yourself, are not open to love, […]

Share

GOOD EVENING, SIR

A dilemma: I was dog-sitting for some friends and they live on a second floor overlooking a busy street.  It is very fun to watch the street and foot traffic, but then this happened: A man in a white truck pulled up in front of an apartment next door, then he looked around and suddenly […]

Share

IN VINO VERITAS

A complication with your complication: I have a friend who is an an open relationship.  Recently, the two of them have started sleeping with a third person who is married and cheating on his spouse.  I don’t know this new person and I don’t want to.  I am absolutely disgusted by this behavior.  I don’t […]

Share

REPUJIT

Nasty. My dog eats poop she finds on the ground when we’re walking.  Today she almost knocked down an old lady wearing a colostomy bag.  What can you say? LISTEN: Rendered speechless?  I’m not surprised. To the old lady, you say “I’m so sorry.”  You may decide to keep your little coprophage on a shorter […]

Share

IT’S LOVELY

A question that does not need to be asked: What do you say when someone paints their house a color you can’t stand? LISTEN: Did they ask your opinion?  No?  Then you don’t say anything. They did?  Uh-oh. Then lie, and tell them it’s lovely.  Quickly add that it’s not a color you’d choose, but […]

Share

ALL SHE WANTS IS

A foul observance: I have a friend who smells bad.  Recently, it’s gotten worse.  It isn’t just body odor, though there’s some of that, not much – but their clothes smell like they’re mildewed.  How do you deal with someone’s problem like this? LISTEN: Take them on a shopping spree?  First to buy new clothes […]

Share

MELOTOXIC

A disgusting salad suggestion: I despise melon – all kinds – and yet I find myself going to a dinner at a friend’s house where they will be serving a something with melon (they always do).  I can’t choke it down, and I feel terrible…what is the most polite way for me to decline a […]

Share